Is Love a Feeling or a Choice?

Love Letter

I’ve got a hunch you’re itching to explore how personal experience plays out in choosing love. Truth is, our past experiences significantly shape our decisions, including when it comes to love. Is love a choice or an uncontrollable emotion? That’s the question I’ve set out to answer. Despite its elusive and abstract nature, I believe there is value in trying to define such a powerful force that impacts our lives so profoundly. Thoughts and feelings arise from our consciousness and subconscious, and they’re difficult if not impossible to control.

When it comes to the age-old question of whether love is a feeling or a choice, the answer is not so clear-cut. Many people believe that love is primarily a feeling, something that we experience deep within our hearts and souls. Others argue that love is more of a choice, a decision that we make to commit to someone and work on building a relationship with them.

It takes effort from both partners to maintain a healthy and happy partnership. A lot of people accept love as a feeling and think nothing more of it. They can feel it in their hearts, and they know when they know. We try so hard to make sense of it, to understand it, to grasp it between our fingertips and hold it in our palms. To put it on a shelf that we can easily pull from when we’re ready.

In union with agape, however, we can have the “divinity” of eros without the “madness.” This is what is actually in our control. These questions and their subsequent answers will depend upon your choices. Once you choose something, then you accept all the shortcomings of that thing. The real thing is to accept someone with flaws. If you want positivity, you have to focus on positivity while compromising negativity. It is your choice whether to kick-start the action of love or not.

The Feeling of Love

Those who believe that love is a feeling often point to the intense emotions that accompany being in love. The butterflies in your stomach, the racing heart, the overwhelming joy – these are all signs of the powerful feelings associated with love. When you are in love, it can feel like you are walking on air, consumed by the warmth and happiness that comes from being with that special someone.

You may adore your children more than anything in this world, but they know how far to push you. Establishing boundaries also allows you to cherish yourself. Loving folks doesn’t mean you’re a welcome mat to be trampled. The Bible even further suggests that God is the personification of love. Examples in other religious traditions and sacred texts are abundant. It’s also described in countless secular literature throughout the ages.

The Choice of Love

On the other hand, those who argue that love is a choice emphasize the importance of actively choosing to love someone, even when things get tough. Making the decision to commit to a relationship, to work through challenges and conflicts, and to prioritize the well-being of your partner all require conscious effort and intention. In this sense, love is seen as a choice that we make every day to nurture and grow our relationships.

Ask any established author and they will tell you that is not the case, and ask any couple that has been together for 50 years and they will tell you the same. But love isn’t just those initial moments.And perhaps it’s not even those moments at all. “To blindly follow the heart is the maxim of fools,\” philosopher Aaron Smuts observes.

FAQs About Love

While falling in love can be a hormone-fueled whirlwind of happiness and excitement, maintaining a relationship over time requires making a conscious decision to do so. However, in romantic relationships, this eventual change is frequently typical. It occurs because the brain adjusts gradually over time rather than continuing to produce the same high levels of feel-good chemicals like dopamine.

  1. Can love be both a feeling and a choice?
  2. Yes, many people believe that love involves both intense emotions and conscious decisions to commit to a relationship.

  3. How can I tell if I am in love?
  4. Being in love is often accompanied by feelings of happiness, contentment, and a deep connection with your partner.

  5. Is it possible to fall out of love?
  6. While feelings of love can change over time, making the choice to work on your relationship can help sustain and strengthen your love for your partner.

In conclusion, the debate over whether love is a feeling or a choice will likely continue for years to come. Ultimately, it may be a combination of both – the intense emotions that come with being in love, as well as the conscious decisions we make to nurture and sustain our relationships. Whether you believe that love is a feeling, a choice, or a bit of both, one thing is certain: love is a beautiful and complex phenomenon that touches us all in profound ways.

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